I’d like to take a second to offer a heartfelt apology to all of the fans out there who love my pizza reviews oh so much. I have been in a diabetes induced coma for the past several weeks so obviously I was unable to review any pizza. Though, as you can imagine, my slumber was filled with vivid dreams of the delectable meats and cheeses that combine to make pizza in all it’s glory. I also saw my sweet sweet Martha, she was sitting on the most beautiful beach in heaven, a slice of double bacon extra cheesy cheeseburger pizza from Dominos in one hand, and Papa Johns extra super cheesy meat lovers deluxe in the other. What a woman... Anyways, I woke up yesterday and was ready to feast, decided to start off with a classic and had Dominos delivered to my hospital bed. 1/2 meat lovers and 1/2 Hawaiian. Having been only fed on an eating tube for several weeks made this Dominos pie even better than usual and didn’t think that was possible. I filled my tummy with about half of each until my son of a bitch doctor came in my room and stole it away from me. He yelled, “Are you fuckin nuts? Are you trying to kill yourself?” Of course that was just his bullshit story, he just wanted the pizza for himself, fucking bastard. 10/10
