I came here specifically because of the high reviews on this app. What I’ve come to realize is that you guys review pizza like a fat incel who finally got laid and it was by the 300 pounder in the back of the bar you met 2 minutes before closing time. You think it was great simply because it was sex.
I got the smaller 12’ “Goodfella” pizza with pepperoni, Italian sausage, and smoked meatball. With a small drink, it came to $30! What?? This better be good!
The undercarriage was extremely floppy and did not hold up at all. I had to eat the pizza with 2 hands the whole time because it couldn’t support any weight whatsoever. I don’t really care about that much those as long as the pizza is flavorful. It is not, and I’ll get into why soon. The outer crust was fantastic though. It was light and crispy but still chewy on the inside and everything you’d expect from brick oven pizza. Best part of the pizza for sure.
The other nice touch was the basil. Not enough pizza places do this. Basil adds so much aesthetics and also is a great flavor for any pizza. So kudos on that.
The rest of the pizza was terrible. For a place that prides themselves on smoked meats, the meats offered no flavor whatsoever. They look nice, but the flavor does not match. They weren’t bad or anything, but they just didn’t really bring any flavor at all to the pizza. Very bland.
The sauce was so-so, but the problem was that there was barely any sauce whatsoever on the pizza. There were slices that had almost 0 sauce anywhere. It was like dry bread with some flavorless hunks of bland meat on them. I don’t understand how no one gets that sauce is where most of the flavor comes from on a pizza. It’s the catalyst of flavor that ties it all together. A pizza with no sauce is like jerking off with no lube. Where is the sauce?? How do so many places get this wrong?
It was an insanely expensive, dry, flavorless piece of bread with some meats sprinkled on it. It looks good to the eye, I mean; it’s a nice looking pizza. But the taste does not match looks. I expected a lot more out of this place after your reviews. Your reviews are no better than this pizza.
5.1
Run along now, Big Bertha is calling out to you for round 2!
