Score Breakdown: Sauce: 7.25 Crust: 7.0 Cheese: 8.0 Paisan X: 6.0 Combined: 7.1

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Pizza Review
I gotta stop going to the places that Portnoy likes because it’s clear to me that his taste in pizza is actual dogshit. First off, it’s blazing hot inside and they refused to turn on the A/C. Second of all, look at this pizza and tell me that paying $40 for it is justified. Looks good, sure, however it was greasy and floppy and the crust was absolutely tasteless. My total bill after my girlfriend ordered a little slushy drink was $65. It’s 2024, so we should be able to pay with a card, right? Sadly, no. They only took cash. They had an ATM on site, for a fee of $5 per transaction. I only had a credit card on me, however they only let me use cards with a PIN. So I had to call Chase from the fucking restaurant in order to get a pin to pay for the pizza. And then, the ATM only carries 20s 50s and 100s. I tried withdrawing 75 so I could leave a halfway decent tip and it didn’t take. Thank god I had a little cash on me to leave $73, because I for sure wasn’t gonna leave a $15 tip for the waiter after coming to my table maybe four times the whole hour and a half we were there and never refilled my water. They had one single person bathroom in the place so following my post-meal dump, I didn’t inform them that they need more toilet paper after using the rest of the last roll there on my ass, because I think that any restaurant that lets you leave feeling like you just got robbed completely deserves to fail. Overall, I give Ignacio’s in Dumbo a 2.9 based on the experience I had. The people behind me left their pizza behind after seeing they could only pay in cash and I definitely think we should have done the same
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