Pizza Review

About National Pizza & Wings

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Pizza Review
Okay, time for another pizza review. I’m here at National Pizza at the corner of King and James in The Hammer. I come here on the recommendation of Cathi Edwards-Petrie who swears by the slice here. I think she has some nostalgia about this place, I do too. This is going to be interesting, very interesting. Right away, before I even enter the pizza shack, I encounter a Hamilton celebrity. It’s bottle flip guy. He’s literally flips bottles all day long. Enough said. I enter the little stall and the old lady is no longer there. It looks like a new family has taken over. Is the pizza still the same? Full disclosure here, I’ve been coming here for 25 years whenever I need a quick slice. It has been 2 to 3 years since my last visit. I remember the pizza as slightly below average. That’s what we call foreshadowing in the business. One slice and a coke, it’s $4.25. I head over to the roof of Jackson Square to eat this slice as is my long standing custom. I get on the roof and I’m astonished at the post apocalyptic hellscape this place has become. It’s all overgrown!! I can hear crickets chirping in the thick brush at where used to be nice grass where people relaxed. It’s kind of scary up here. The people up here are dragging themselves around like you’d see in a Walking Dead episode. It’s kinda sad and shocking. I leave immediately and retreat to the sunny climes of Gore Park. Onto the pizza. I pull it out of the bag and I’m about to take a bite when I see a small crusty grey thing in the corner. What the hell is that!?!? I flick it off and examine it further. Is that...no it can’t be.... is that.....a booger? How the heck did that get on my pizza? I mean, it might not be a booger but then I don’t know what it is. That’s my best guess. I’m not making this up. Into the trash it goes. I’m not taking risks with possible boogers on my pizza. Honestly, what was that? You guess for yourself. The score - 0.0 - I mean, what else can I give it? ok I’m done. I can’t take anymore. Next review will be somewhere nice. I’m gonna go get a salad.
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