There’s an old expression: “Looks can be deceiving.” Aesthetically, this pie is very pleasing, adequately presentable, a delicious appearance that heightened my expectations. Upon first bite, I was astonished by how awful the pie tasted. I ordered a plain cheese pizza called “The Jane,” as in “Plain Jane.” I can’t even explain how appallingly terrible the overall taste was; it’s as if this pie was pulled from a garbage heap. The taste was so horrifically unusual I can only describe it as a rotten garden salad with lemon juice mixed with spoiled cheese and curdled milk. The fairly funky smell matches the extremely funky flavors of the mozzarella, aged provolone and grana padano cheeses melded together in a nightmarish combination. The sauce is buried under the foul-flavored cheese, making it difficult to distinguish. To make matters worse, the dough is horrendously soft, borderline undercooked. The flop is rather minimal, somewhat firm for such a soft pie, but zero crisp and a crust without an ounce of crunch. The texture and the taste are equally putrid. There’s just nothing redeeming about this pizza except for the fact that it’s edible (barely). They also claim to be the first “Pizza Museum;” but truthfully, it’s just a bunch of random pizza-related crap on the walls, hardly a Mecca for pizza enthusiasts. All that being said, this pie was bafflingly bad; I’m sorry to say it’s honestly some of the worst pizza I’ve ever eaten.
