This divine combination of dough, sauce,and cheese that some refer to as “pizza” has single-handily saved my life a countless number of times. I am not a religious man, but if there is a heaven, I imagine the only food up there is Riggtown pizza. The amount of occasions I’ve beckoned on Riggtown to fulfill an insatiable hunger couldn’t be measured by any number known to the human intellect. Not only does this pizza cure cure depression AND hunger, it also gives whoever consumes it a (flavor) trip stronger than mushrooms, LSD, and DMT mixed together. You are committing a crime by not eating Riggtown pizza.
