The Eatery

Large Cheese Pie $12.99 Not good! All it did was kill my beer buzz. Outside crust was super doughy. Tons of cheese. Little sauce. If I was drunk.... could be a killer pie.

First thoughts that come to mind when I drive by The Eatery are “what a pie”... Anyone who hasn’t slammed their tongue in a door from a pre 2000’s Cadillac would have no problem sacrificing a limb for some recycled grease drippings off one of these slices. I would say there is a special place in hell reserved for the haters of this place but they are more than likely all ready in the looney bin. The Eatery deserves 3 Michelin Stars at the very least.

Is your butthole sore from getting fucked at the casino? Is there a puddle of blood left on your seat at the black jack table? Are you and your wallet exhausted from violently hemorrhaging? Well don’t stop by the Eatery, because this pizza is garbage. The “slice” looks and tastes like what they serve in an under budgeted prison. The cheese has a cardboard texture and bland taste. The pizza is dry and the crust is essentially toasted bread. You’d rather go back and bend over at the black jack table than eat this pizza.