I was passing through Morton and decided to look up some pizza places in the area. This little hole-in-the-wall looked kinda sketch but thought I’d give it a shot for it’s uniqueness. The place is like a little shed on a street corner, and a couple of guys are working inside making the pizza from scratch. There is very little standing room and no place to eat inside, but I talked with the guys for around 20 minutes about the business and other small talk while they made my pizza. As I was watching them make it right in front of me, I asked about their ingredients. They said everything is from scratch. They make the dough, sauce and cheese from scratch while only buying the expensive ingredients. The guys who owns it explained how he worked a desk job out of college and hated his life, so he bought the pizza shack and decided to do something he loved. Now here’s the thing: this place is a small, neat little place in a small town. They were hyping it up and it looked really good! Everything about it. These guys knew what they were doing (or so it seemed). It looked good before it went in and came out looking better. As I they handed me the pizza on my way out, I thought it would be nice of me to ask for a picture as one does after getting to know each other for a little bit. This, however, prompted a sharp response from the guys inside, saying, “no, we don’t allow pictures in here” and “we don’t do that publicity or social media stuff.” I thought this was strange and had never seen a business quite like this turn down a promotion of their business. Was there something going on in there? Were they violating a health code? Were they convicted felons? This seemed like a place only for the locals and didn’t want too many people knowing about it, using the excuse, “we can’t keep up with the business.” Yeah right. I brushed this off and thanked them for the pizza and proceeded to take a picture of the outside where they could see me through the open windows. I couldn’t forget this place. Eager to try the pizza, I got in the car to unveil what looked to be a tasty pie. But I was wrong. This pizza was boring. A child’s pizza. There was literally zero flavor. It was like eating nothing. Waste of time, money, and energy to get this. I can’t even describe the pizza! Sauce tasted like nothing, cheese was nothing, and dough was nothing! Maybe this deserves a high score for fascinating me on how it could be possible to make a pizza taste so dull and unexciting. I thought I had something there, folks. Not all hole-in-the-wall pizza sheds in small towns with nice guys making the pizza are worthy. I see all these “oh this is good pizza” and “best pizza on this side of I-80!” with scores in the 7s and 8s. Don’t let anyone tell you this pizza is actually good! These are obviously rookie scores and these small town reviewers don’t know shit when it comes to pizza. This is a terrible pizza and makes me want to gag having to eat another slice. You guys know I don’t sugar-coat my reviews, I tell it like it is. Gas station pizza is better than this. 3.9. That’s a review.
